The Right Kind of Wrong
by Irken Invader1
Summary: Gold, Silver and Crystal Are BIG IZ fans...What happens when just a little hacking fun goes too far...The story of three IZ Lovin' fans on the run from the Irken Armada....(PG for plot/content)
1. Hacking is a Girl's Best Friend...

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the IZ characters! But I wished I did…but…wait…I did rent them and…uh…* re-reads rental contact* …I am allowed to bend them to my will! HAHA! Anyho…ON WITH THE FIC!

Shout Outs: Purple (Silver)-thanks for the idea and helping me along with my first **real** IZ fic!

Mizz B- not much help…but you helped with your humor…Thanks…

Gold- you were my inspiration in the story…and helped me in the hard spots…Thanks!

Bill- Now that I think about…you didn't help at all…but you did read the earlier versions and helped revise it to the final copy!

THANKS TO ALL OF U THAT HELPED! 

Character Information:

Silver: FF.net Author Name- Purple (read her stories!)

Favorite Character- Purple

Status- Orphan; medium height, bit below shoulder length dirty blonde hair/ blue eyes

Gold: FF.net Author Name- N/A

Favorite Character- Red

Status-Orphan; medium height, shoulder length light brown hair/eyes

Crystal: FF.net Author Name- Irken Invader (that's me!)

Favorite Character- Zim

Status- Orphan; tall, above shoulder length dark brown hair/eyes

**The Right Kind Of Wrong**

It was Friday night and, as usual, Crystal and Silver were sitting on the couch, awaiting a new episode of IZ to show. Suddenly, the commercials ended and the IZ theme song came on. Crystal and Silver sat there-almost mesmerized- when a knock came at the door. "I got it!" Crystal said as she raced to the door. "Yes…?" said asked when she opened the door. There was Gold.

"You're late!" Crystal said as she pulled in her friend. 

"I know…I got caught up at the store buying our poopcorn."

"That's OK…it turned out that it isn't a new episode…it's 'The Nightmare Begins'…" Crystal said as she put the poopcorn in the microwave. They watched it pop as they heard the bits and pieces of the first episode…"Welcome to Conventia…the convention hall planet…" 

__

BEEP! BEEP!

"Poopcorn is done!" Gold said as she pulled it and put it in a bowl. Crystal went to the fridge and pulled out butter and grabbed salt from the counter. They covered it about a cup of salt a gallon of butter and took it the TV room. The bowl caught the edge of a table, causing the lamp to wobble and fall off the table. 

"Oops! Did I break it?" Crystal asked setting the poopcorn down and examining the Prof. Membrane lamp. "Oh, good…I didn't…"

They sat and watched the rest of the episode noisily crunching on the salted, buttered poopcorn. When the show was over, they all stood up and stretched.

"So…" Crystal said bending over to touch her toes.

"Head, shoulders, knees and toes, knees and toes…" Gold, said, joking Crystal stretching.

"The madness…the horrible madness!" Silver screamed, covering her ears with her hands and beginning to hum to block out the song.

"I'm just kidding… jeez," Gold said as FINALLY Silver stopped singing the DOOM song to block out the 'head shoulders knees and toes' song.

"As I was saying…so, do you guys want finally finish our pod packs?" Crystal asked when her friends finally stopped singing and all that other…uh…stuffs.

"Yeah, sure, whatever," Silver said as she began to walk down the hall to their labs. They had-about three years ago- built an under ground lab, like Zim's. They had even built their house-in pod/drill form of course (like in the first episode)-like Zim's, down to every last detail. They all walked into the kitchen to the main lab entrances. Silver took the trash can entrance, Gold took the toilet entrance (I told u it was down to every detail!), and Crystal took the fridge entrance through the bottom left drawer. 

When they had all got to the pack pod lab sector, Crystal instructed the computer to transport all packs to the pack lab sector.

"HI!" came three high-pitched voices. It was their SIRs, VIR, Silver's SIR, KIR, Gold's SIR, and ZIR, Crystal's SIR. 

"Oh god…not again," said Silver as VIR climbed on her shoulders. "Not today, VIR!"

"Piggy-ride! Piggy-ride! PIGGY-RIDE!"

"FINE!" Silver screamed as she began to run around the lab.

"Wee!"

"There! You happy now?"

"Yes…wait a minute…yes!"

"Thank GOD!" Silver said as she set to work, with her friends, on their back pods. After about two hours, the friends sighed successfully, finally finished with the back pods. "Thank GOD! We're finally done-"

__

BOOP!

"Incoming Message From…IRK…"

Suddenly, Purple and Red came on screen at which point Gold and Silver were dumfounded at the sight of their crushes. "Oh…hello ZIM…we have something we need to ask of you," Purple said, not even bothering to look at the screen. "We had something go wrong with the mission on Blorch, so we need you to gather some other beings to be transported to Irk. The Blorch can smell Irkens…they might not be able to smell Earthaniods… so…you'll need to gather the so-called 'IZ lovers' so that we have ready and willing soldiers…oh…and try to pick some short ones…we don't want compitition…"

As he said the last words, Purple looked up to see the three Earthaniods standing there, saluting. "Who the *beep* are you?" Red asked as he pulled a double-ended scythe from his many pockets. "Whoa, Red, calm down! Jeez, anyway…who are you?" Purple asked, taking the double-ended scythe from Red.

"Aw man…" Red said as he sat down in the Massive Control Center chair, looking at Gold. Gold felt his eyes and gave him a finger wave. Red looked away suddenly interested in his claws.

"Well," Crystal said " I'm Crystal, she's Gold *points to Gold who waves again *, and she *points to Silver* is Silver."

Purple eyed them all. Glancing at Silver momentaraly. 

"We're all 18 years old!" Gold said, almost screaming. Red twitched at the high pitched scream. "Oops, sorry…Got a little over excited…" 

"Really? Couldn't tell…" Red said rolling his eyes.

"Well…you heard the message we sent to Zim…didn't you?" Purple asked as he looked oddly at Crystal as she drained a Poop in one gulp, "How did you do that?" he asked fascinated.

"Do what?"

"That!"

"That what?"

"Th-never mind…"

"Whatever…"

"Anyway…so…did you hear the message?" Red asked.

"Well duh!"

"Are you serious?" Purple asked, his light magenta eyes bulging.

"Yah…"

"Oh my god…but, wait…are you a friend of Zim's…you know-"

"No…we're just plain Earthaniods…but I wish we worked with Zim," Crystal said looking dreamily into the air.

"Aw *beep* …what the *beep* where we thinking…" Purple said as Red went mad in the back round, positively pissed. 

"*Beep* you Red! You just screwed the entire Irken Armada!"

"ME…how did I *beep*ing mess up the mission, you stupid dumb *beep*…you were doing the controls!"

"_I_ was doing the controls?! You were the one who typed in the *beep*ing transmission address!" 

"God! Never mind…just get this *beep*ing Earth scum off our transmission screen before they *beep*ing track us!"

Suddenly, the screen went static and they just stood there, dumbfounded.

"I didn't even know that Irkens even knew those words," Crystal said, still staring at the blank screen.

"Me either…" Silver said as she sat down in a lab chair.

"I knew!" Gold said, as her friends looked at her strangely, "What? Didn't you know that Irkens speak all languages? How else would they be able to conquer all those different planets?"

"Right…I knew that," Silver and Crystal said, still staring.

"So what do we do now? They mentioned something about tracking…Silver! Do you think that you could track 'em?" Gold said as she looked hopefully at Silver.

"Course! I could hack onto the main system if you want me to… *looks at friends who are looking strangly at her* What did you think I did in my spare time? Play solitaire?"

"You learned to **HACK** in your spare time…COOL!" Crystal said that as she sat next to Silver who had already began hacking into the main massive system. Suddenly, a huge list of Irken symbols came on screen. Silver highlighted one of them as she began to search through the file drawer next to the main computer screen.

"I know it's in here somewhere…HERE!" Silver said as she pulled out a small, purple file from the drawer and began to rifle through the contents. She finally found what she was looking for and pulled it out. It was a small black book, the front saying: PURPLE INFO.

She pulled out a pen and stared pensively at the symbols.

"Purple info? What information on Purple could possibly be in the main system?" Gold asked, looking curiously over Silver's shoulder at the list of Irken symbols.

"Computer…Translate!" Crystal said as she noticed the way her friend was staining to mentally translate the symbols.

Suddenly, the Irken symbols were translated into English.

Crystal's eyes scanned the page and her eyes strayed to the highlighted area. Silver quickly wrote something down in the small book in Irken.

" 'Main Camera System'…what does that have to do with anything?" Gold asked.

"Here, I'll show you," Silver said as she clicked on the link.

The screen then showed another list of Irken symbols.

"Wait! Don't translate it! I'd know that symbol anywhere!" Silver said as she quickly clicked on a link. Suddenly, a camera shoot came on screen. It was a picture of some room on the massive, but Gold and Crystal couldn't decipher the Irken symbols on the door in the corner.

"What is this?" Gold asked as she looked oddly at Silver.

"You mean **where** is it,"

"*Rolls eyes* Fine…WHERE is it?"

"You mean **whose** is it,"

"WHOSE IS IT?"

"You'll see…wait a second," Silver said as she glanced at her watch. "Any second now…THERE!" 

She said as a tall, purple figure walked into the door.

"PURPLE!? You hacked into the camera in Purple's Main Quarters?!" Crystal said, her eyes glued to the screen.

"Yup," she said a smile of satisfaction on her face.

Purple then began to remove the armor on his arms and his chest.

"Oh my GOD! PUPRLE IS CHANGING…AS IN NAKED!" Gold said as she glared at Silver. "What about RED!"

"QUIET! I'm trying to watch this!" Silver said.

"But…"

"I said…SHUT UP!" Silver said, pulling a roll of duct tape from a drawer, "DON'T make me use this!" she said her eyes gleaming with anger. 

"Fine! Good God…Adrenaline ran high in her test tube…"

Silver watched her eyes glued to the screen, as Purple began to pull of the armor on his stomach and legs.

"Dear Sweet Jesus…" Crystal said as he pulled off the robes underneath the armor to reveal a skimpy, purple under shirt and a pair of boxers.

"He has **bunny** pattern boxers…" Gold said beginning to giggle at the pattern on his boxers. But, she was soon silenced as Silver held up the roll of tape again as a warning. 

Then, purple suddenly stopped and just stood there. Then, as if a sudden revelation, he hovered over to a large stereo and turned it on to a hard rock station. Not knowing the three Earthaniods were watching him, he began to dance in an almost "sexy" manner in the "privacy" of his main quarters.

"TAKE IT OFF! **TAKE IT OFF!" **Silver screamed as she threw a hundred and a handful of quarters at the screen. One of them rebounded off the screen and hit Silver in the eye, going unnoticed.

"Oh! A HUNDRED!" Crystal said as she quickly snatched the bill and jammed it in one of her many pockets.

Then, they heard a knock at Purple's door. He promptly went over to the stereo and turned it off. He quickly pulled on a light purple robe and answered the door.

"Excuse me your Tallness, but there has been a breech in the Main Camera System…" the medium height technicians said bowing low at sight of the Almighty Tallest. 

"Which sectors?" Purple asked, signaling for him to rise from his bow.

"Sector 9483…" 

"But…THAT'S MY ROOM!" Purple said staring at the camera in the corner. Suddenly, Red burst into the room, also in a robe and pulled the double-ended scythe again from his pocket (this time his robe pocket). Purple had backed away, trying to avoid the newly sharpened blade. Silver leaped into the screen screaming," Leave Pur ALONE!" Them, as if on qoe, Red thew the scythe at the camera in the corner. The Three Earthaniods all gasped, as it hit the camera and hid their face with their hands, forgetting it was just a camera shot.

"Aw man!" Silver said climbing back in her chair," He didn't even get to finish the dance…"

* * * * * * * *

Later that night, they all were back in the lab, hacking into the system again. They had obviously had not learned their lesson. 

"This time I'll log on with an Irken's password and username. That'll keep us from being tracked…or caught for that matter…" Silver said, looking in a small file in the main file folder. "Aha! Here it is… Invader Floaby's log in information… I got it while hacking one day…"

She typed in the log in information and the computer took them to the main page. Of course, it was all in Irken, so they immediately translated it to English. Silver than clicked on the link saying: Camera Staff Click Here!

It took them to a sign on page where Silver typed in the Floaby password again.

It took them to the main Sector pages and not even needing to translate, Silver saw the symbol for the Mission Control Center for the Massive. It automatically came on the main camera in the Control Center, a camera directly in front of the Tallest's chairs. 

They were both still in their robes talking to each other.

Since they were talking softly, they had to strain their ears to hear the conversation.

* * * * * * *

"So…" Purple said glancing at his best friend and Co-ruler with a worried look on his face.

"The entire Irken Armada has been compromised…by three humans…" Red said a look of disgust on his face. 

"They know too much about Zim's mission and US…They have left us no choice…" Purple said as he fiddled with the fabric on the edge of his robe.

"I know, but I wish we didn't have to, they could be great friends…if they were Irkens…but they're not…if only-if only we could like brainwash them or something…"

"No…you know what has to be done Red-"

"But…"

"No 'buts' about it Red, I have already sent the Irken soldiers out, they must be-" Purple gulped as he looked at Red straight in the eyes," They must be killed…"

YAY! The end of the 1st Chapter! If you like it…please review…

BTW…I can use as much help as I can get, if you have any suggestions, review or send me an e-mail…THANKS!

*Tries to do a one handed clap but fails and frowns…*

(BTW…I have two arms…I just have cases of momentary madness…*begins to run around house insanely waving hands in the air* *Silver walks up; whispers behind her hand* Please excuse my friend here…she's…uh…different…


	2. The Plan...

1 Disclaimer- Jhonen owns all the cool IZ characters; not me *pout* but I do own this awesome Pen! *Holds up a cool green/purple gel pen*  
  
2  
  
3  
  
4 The Right Kind of Wrong  
  
"Oh my god!" Crystal said before colapsing into her lap chair, her crystal blue eyes sparkling with tears, "We can't die! We haven't really lived,"  
  
Gold just stood there, her face frozen in shock.  
  
"But…but I can't die…I haven't had sex with Purple yet," Silver said as she shut off the screen.  
  
They all just sat there, thinking of a plan to avoid their untimely death/murder. After a few hours of silence with no progress, they fell into an uneasy sleep.  
  
********  
  
Purple, Red, and Zim were walking down the Irken Academy hall when they came up to a small group of girls, all giggling and pointing at them.  
  
Purple, Red, and Zim were the cutest and most popular Irkens in the Academy and were proud of it. (This was before Pur/Red's growth spurt…so they are about even with Zim…)  
  
"Hi ladies!" They said in unison, flashing their brilliant smiles.  
  
They giggled more and moved out of the way when the boys passed them.  
  
They continued to walk to their next class, Scythe Fighting 101.  
  
"Well, here we go…" Zim said as he opened the door and they all walked in.  
  
The classroom was kind of like a small gym with a small arrangement of desks in the corner. Scythes were hanging on the walls on racks and armor was also hanging on the wall.  
  
They were the only people they knew of that signed up for that class, but as they looked around, there were already three people in the room. All of them were already wearing their own armor in various colors. All three of them grabbed scythes and went into fighting position. One of them said something to the other, making them mad.  
  
"What the…" Red said as two of the Irkens skillfully began to twirl their scythes and fight each other, the other one laughing on the side.  
  
The scythes were not the practicing ones, but the one reserved for the most advanced scythe fighters: the double-ended scythes.  
  
They skillfully fought and blocked and looked as if they were really going for the kill.  
  
They boys watched in amazement as the one on the side skillfully high jumped and landed in the middle of the fight. They were all battling the other two and they all seemed to be going for the kill. The third one, in light green armor knocked over the second one, in light purple, and put one end of the scythe to their neck. The purple one kicked the scythe out of the green's hands and jumped up. The first one, in light red, took the chance and went after the green one from behind. The green one turned just in time to see red racing forward. Green did a hand spring over red's head and retreived her scythe from the other side. The purple one and the red one looked at each other. The red one nodded and they both raced forward towards green. Green whacked them in the head with the handle and knocked them to the ground. The scythe's ends were pointed to both their necks. The two on the ground dropped their scythes and raised their hands in surrender. The green one laughed and let them get up. They all shook hands and began to talk and laugh hysterically.  
  
Red, Purple, and Zim exchanged glances and looked back to the three fighters.  
  
"I'm going in," Purple said as he walked forward towards them. "Hey guys! Great fight! Must give you great muscles…you guys must have tons of girls chasing after you! You guys in the Scythe Fighters of Irk team?"  
  
"No," They all said.  
  
"Oh, and by the way, we prefer guys," the purple one said as they all pulled off their helmets.  
  
Purple stood there, his mouth gaping. They were girls?  
  
********  
  
Crystal woke up just in time to see the computer announce an incoming message. She quickly woke up Gold and Silver. They all sat down in lab chairs and Silver turned on the screen.  
  
"Hello,"  
  
It was the Tallest.  
  
"Hello Purple…Red," Silver said a disgusted look on her face. Gold and Crystal the same.  
  
"We just want to talk," Purple said.  
  
"Why? So you can track our location so the Irken soldiers will know where to find us?" Crystal said, almost screaming.  
  
"No! That's not it, we really want to talk to you about a proposition…"  
  
"Yeah, right, and I'm the tooth fairy! Give it up…" Gold said as she turned off the screen.  
  
"Well, looks like they're more desperate than we thought." Crystal said. "But, I don't know about you, but I have a plan."  
  
"For what?" Silver asked, fully confused.  
  
"The one on how to avoid the Irken soldiers moron!"  
  
"Oh! That one! Go on…" Silver and Gold said.  
  
"Well, we hack into Zim's computer, that's where you come in Silver, and find the location. Then we pack up. We put the house in pod form like in the first episode. We build a version of the voot cruisers and go to Zim's. We say that if he will harbor us, we will help him destroy Earth."  
  
"But what if he says no?" Gold asked.  
  
"I already figured out that one. We simply say that if he doesn't harbor us, we will find Dib and help him destroy Zim, and save the Earth,"  
  
"But isn't that black mail?" Silver questioned.  
  
"Well…I guess…let's just hope he doesn't say no…I'd hate to have to hurt him."  
  
"Well, I'll start hacking…the Irken soldiers probably have faster ships, who knows when they could get here…"  
  
********  
  
"Got Him! Location is being saved!" Silver said, a triumphant smile on her face.  
  
"Great! Now print out the Voot Cruiser design plans, and the house pod instructions." Crystal said.  
  
"Already did!" Silver said tossing them to Crystal and Gold.  
  
"I'll get to work on the Cruiser…Gold…"  
  
"I know…get to work on the house."  
  
"Here goes nothing!" Crystal said as she walked to the cruiser sector. "Wait! Silver come here! I think I found something!"  
  
"What?" she asked running to catch up.  
  
"Look…Right here in the back it gives you instructions on how to fabricate a cruiser on the main computer system!"  
  
"I'll get to work! You go help Gold. With this, we can leave tonight."  
  
"I'm all over it!"  
  
********  
  
"We're done with the pod instructions… all we have to do is push this button!" Gold said as she held up a small remote.  
  
"Good! I'm almost done with the Cruiser. All that has to be done is that we need to press this button…" Silver said as she pressed a blue button the control panel. Suddenly the cruiser slowly fabricated in front of them on the fabrication pad. It was slightly larger than Zim's; big enough for three people.  
  
"Awesome! We leave in five minutes!" Gold said as she called their SIRs. As they all came running up, sipping Suckies, Gold pressed a button on their lower neck that made them transform into little boxes for traveling.  
  
They all climbed into the voot cruiser and they exited through the roof exit. As they exited they the night sky and hovering clouds gave them great cover.  
  
Gold pushed the button and the house suddenly was folded into itself into a small pod-about a one by one cube- labs and all, leaving no sign of them ever living there.  
  
They flew low and Gold leaned out the door to grab the pod.  
  
"Buckle up…we're gonna see how fast this baby will go!" Silver said, shifting the gears into 'Kick Ass Fast'.  
  
But, they were unaware of someone that was watching in the shadows in the back of the cruiser.  
  
  
  
Oh! Cliffhanger! This story is getting spooky, Yes? No, not really… Oh well! R&R! Please! I can't stand it anymore! *Runs around the house waving arms around and singing 'Underneath You Clothes' while drinking a Suckie* *Silver walks up* *Ducks to avoid flying Suckie cups* You think this is weird? You should have seen her after she inhaled that can of candy paint up her nose! Man, was that ever crazy! Well…time to go worship Pur…bye-bye now! *Waves* 


End file.
